Coldhearted by Jae (R)
"Jesus, Joe," Chris groaned. "Sex with you is sounding more unattractive by the second. Between you being all selfish and Lance's assisted orgasms, you're giving us all a bad name. 'Sleep with 'N Sync for the utmost in cold, mechanical experiences. We're sex machines. No, really. We're machines.'"
This kills me, seriously. If you couldn't tell form the quotes overload. It's amazing and funny and it kills me. It's one of those stories that has you laughing out loud and scaring everyone around you. I cannot even to really begin to express my love, except by very loud squees. Read and enjoy, and laugh yourself to an early death.
There are a few other pairings but those listed are the actual relationships.
"I just want to get this over with and get away from you and your revolting friends and your filthy bets."
"All right then," Lance said. "No drink for you."
"So what am I supposed to do?" Brian said.
"Well, I was going to ask you to jump up and down on the bed a little and yell, 'Oh Lance, I've never seen one that big,' but you don't really seem in the mood. So do you just want to go to sleep?"